DAVE AND SHANE AND GABI - THEY FANCY DA ASS OF HER REALLY. Reliable sources can verify that The twat and El Fatass are both madly in love with Casio the Slag. They fail to admit this but never shut up abt her and whenever Dave is told to fink of someone she is the first person that comes into his head. Yall know Dave cant deny that.
MARK N GABI! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
For a few months now there has been something going on between The God and The Slag. The God denies most of the charges brought against him but there seems 2 b something there. El Fatass made this statement: "He wouldnt go out with her, he doesnt do things like that. Is he using her? Well he does do things like that." The God failed to make a response bt was seen with Casio for about 10 of the first 14 days in the holidays. Are they jus friends? Well for some reason, we all have a strange problem with males and females being friends.
SHANE SHOT! Newton resident Shane Marsden shot himself last night for no apparent reason. Thats the whole story.
DAVE SHOT! Carrbrook resident Dave Procter was shot last nite, by Mark Johnson. Da reason - "hes a bit of a twat" Mark told us. Unfortunately he 2 survived and is overdosin on heroin 2 recover.
FRED SHOT! Carrbrook resident Fred somethinorother was shot yesterday in his home by his wife Edith. The two were sat peacefully wen a gun appeared in Ediths hand by magic n she decided 2 use it. da result - death. RIP Fred, shane loved u!
And finally.....Switzerland is given an award for being the only country in the world with that name
The news broadcaster 4 LEMONS XCLUSIVE^^^^^^