|
Hell Home
Lemon Exclusives
A Word From R Sponsor
Snaps
The God
The Twat
The Fat Bastard
Carrbrook
The lyricists
The Page with Potential
Track Listings
Guestbook
And Finally...
|
Im Dave and im infamous 4 all the rong reasons
The finest twat? that makes u sound respectable like u go around in a top hat with a monicle and talk posh goin "hello, im a twat, but a respectable one. Oh golly gosh yes, im the finest." lmao HES JUS THE TWAT
|
YO PPL, I'M THE TWAT AND IVE JUS GOT BAK FROM 1 OF THE BEST HOLS OF MA LIFE! so now The Twat talks exclusively to lemons.20m.com and reveals all about his holiday (newspaper style).
Hi so the best fing abt Jersey woz very obviously the girls but I met soe rather cool girlswhiel I woz there. Not only does every girl in Jersey look like a model but they have nicer bodies instead of being sticks. I met the coolest girl eva while I woz there, Rachel if u eva read this ur the coolest and one of the fittest girls i no n im comin down to Stoke soon!!!
So the best parts of the holiday were girls and after that came sun. u lot were all stuck in this shithole while i woz sunning maself in 85 degrees, gud eh? and I also had a lot of fit girls surrounding me @ the same time!
Well i nearly got chopped up by a surf board coz sum twat cunt look where he woz goin. KNOBHED!!!
|
Dave in a normal mood....u dont wanna c him wen hez high or pissed!!!!!!
|
Maligno the God's view on Dave
Dave is, beyond all doubt, the biggest twat eva known 2 man. Dis makes him funny. His dad is a doctor which was totally takin the piss out of his surname really. He has also been stealin his dads drugs and medicine and is therefore continuously high. His dads vast wine collection also serves daves alcohol problem. I dont care if daves a twat cos its funny jus watchin him laff at evryfin dat isnt even funny. dis site will not mek ne otha person laff bt he hasnt stopped since he signed up 4 it. It was also cool ov him 2 let me help him wit dis site and i did agree i wudnt diss ne1 on ma sites, bt neva agreed 2 not do it on 1 ov daves! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
Dave would also like 2 mention dat he is str8 n a free agent. So all u really desperate women hu cant get ne otha man bcos ur skanky as fuck: DAVES UR MAN!
Cool man sum ov ur new pics r gr8. sorry i jus fort id mention dat msg 2 dave on his page.
|
Jus incase u 4got hu i was.........
|
Dave's Life
Oooh arr, we are th gud ol' Yorkshire folk from Manchester. Wait a minute, now dat der dont make sense. Anyways, ive just slaughtered all my cows, apart from Betty, she be a beauty. I rape her every night. She got a fine hide. Bt someones bin killin me sheep, i suspect they died of shock. I reckons Heys bin fuckin them agen. Ah well nuttin i can do.
|
|
DAVE-THE LINK WIT ALCOHOL
I hav a bad habit of once being given alcohol not givin it back. As Mark, Shane, Gabi, Mel, Sheena n otha ppl will verify Im not a.....sane person whilst pissed.
I have been known to:
proclaim abt ma skill ov walking down the stairs,
proclaim abt ma skill ov puttin on ma shoes,
run off,
shout abt ma desire 4 women,
run aroudn wit a bucket on ma head,
run in2 a stationery door @ full speed,
strip naked,
sit down like a woman,
been sick in ma bed.......and jus lay in it 2 save the effort ov gettin up,
fallen in2 ma cd cabinet,
spell evry word that cums out of ma mouth out,
shout abt how gud it is 2 b sick,
get served 3 times (whilst droppin money bhind the bar)
call normal adults 'Sir',
practice saying "Hello Mrs. Procter."
shout about how Mark and Gabi are going to have sex in Spar
Shout about how Gabis riding Mark on the road
Spontaneously spout my lyrics ("We are partners in crime")
Spend an entire night with my eyes on Sheenas tits
Go wit fat ppl
Get beaten up by Mark
|
Anything else 2 add......
Insert descriptive text which supports the above header. Insert descriptive text which supports the above header.
Insert descriptive text which supports the above header. Insert descriptive text which supports the above header.
No
|
neva use dis pic agen dave i jus wanted 2 see if it worked
|
|
